KILL THE LIFE GIVING FACTOR IN PAST FAILURES

Many writers have opined that a person has to FORGET their past failure(s) in order to achieve success. Intrinsic in this take, is the idea that holding on to past failures could prove detrimental to their quest for success. Failure, to this school of thought, is usually depicted to be a backlog, a burden that stymies progress, and a stronghold that a person needs to get rid of. Whilst this is certainly true, having regards to the dejection and dismal feeling that accompanies failure, so much so that, a person may be unwilling to try again or forge ahead, the important question, as a matter of fact is; Can a person truly forget a past failure? No! You cannot forget your failures. Matter-of-factly, you shouldn’t try to forget them. They form a significant part of your success story, they are ingrained in your memory, you should only try to suppress their hold over you. That is; Kill the life giving factor in your past failures (I’ll explain shortly).

Failure, simply put, is the lack of success in achieving a goal or a stated objective. Failure is not restricted to having a low grade in a course or performing abysmally at a competition. Failure is measured by each person’s metric of success. So, if achieving success in a particular course, for me, is 45%, then, I’d be said to have failed if I scored below 45%. For another, he has failed if he doesn’t score a 70% in that course. It’s a matter of Metric (our individual perceptions of what counts as failure).

One very ineluctable truth, which is probably clichéd, is that: Everyone is going to fail at some point. You cannot cast and bind this one out. It’s a basic axiom of life. We enjoy listening to success stories (not the perspire to maguire kind of stories), these stories did not start off as success stories. Underlying the glamor and razzmatazz we see, are usually untold failures, or probably told stories of failures, with the crux being; failure is a part of any success story.

Earlier, I stated that we cannot forget our failures, and should not try to forget them, instead, we should suppress their grip over us. Let’s Explore this. Both failures and successes are stored in our memory facility. The memory latches on to information we consume or digest and significant events in our lives, stores it, and brings them back to fore when we need them. This is how the concept of “remembering” works. You notice how scriptural verses do not pop up in your head when you are trying to remember a case law in the exam hall, and how the names of football players (no matter how many you know) do not pop up in your head when you are citing the Evidence Act, that’s the function of the memory. It helps you separate information into cadres, and helps you to remember each one when you need them. This is the same way our memory stores our past failures and often brings them to fore at a later date.

Putting this into perspective: You put in for an essay competition in 2018, you did not win. In 2019, you put in for another essay competition, you lost. 2021, you come across an essay competition that interests you, you decide to put in for it. As you begin to make your research, your memory brings to fore your failure in 2018 and 2019. You begin to think to yourself “maybe I’m not a good writer”, “I don’t think I’m going to win this competition too. It is a sheer waste of time.” Then you decided not to write that essay. The diagnosis, is that; you have not killed the life giving factor in those past failures. If your failure can influence your next course of action negatively, then it has a grip over you and you have not killed the life giving factor in it. The Life giving factor in failure is the influence it possesses over our future decisions. I wrote JAMB three times, picked three different universities, scored very highly and did not gain admission (at least not for my desired course of study). When the idea of going for an A-Level program came up, I did not allow my past experiences with JAMB, influence my decision to still study law. I put in for JUPEB and aced my papers.

What I did there was – I killed the life giving factor in my past failures to secure an admission to study law through JAMB. I did not allow those failures influence my decision to try out an A-level program. Instead, they became motivating factors that culminated in my eventual success. So, what if you failed your IELTS exam? You’d never retake it? What if you lost that scholarship? You’d never apply for another? Do not allow your failures influence your decisions. Kill the life giving factor before it kills your dream!

Failure has a way of reminding us of our inadequacies, and implanting in us the “not good enough” syndrome. Deal with this syndrome by accepting that you failed in that task, but you are not a failure! Never fall for the destructive and sometimes self-fulfilling prophecy that you are a failure. Be wise!